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At a secret meeting to be held sometime before noon today, the board of the Scottish Prison Service will confirm an audacious bid to buy Butlins in Skegness.
The original plan was meant to have purchased Butlins in Ayr but the SPS board had not realised that this had been shut since 1998. It is now predominately a caravan site that would be unsuitable for their use.
An SPS spokesperson stated: “This is an ideal and wonderful opportunity for the SPS to embrace the Chris Grayling agenda. It is a privatisation that will help address overcrowding within the SPS estate, it will provide an attractive new dimension to the range of facilities that we operate, and since everyone thinks that a modern day prison is like a holiday camp it will also keep down the dissent.”
“People are sent to prison as a punishment. Even though the facilities include a free fun fair, swimming pool and various eateries, we propose to have compulsory attendance at Karaoke sessions where participation is mandatory. We firmly believe this is the way to instil transformational change in individuals” they added.
A spokesperson for the Prison Officers Association said that the idea was “interesting” but they remained to be convinced if their members would welcome the change in uniform. “We think the change to a red coat could be like a red rag to a bull. We would need to seriously think about balloting for strike action if this was to become a serious option”
The Scottish Government Cabinet Secretary for Justice was not in a position to confirm or deny the story.
We had another successful group meeting in Robertson House. The meeting started with some feedback regarding the on-going work we are involved with, followed by two presentations.
The first was on the Asset Based Community development approach delivered by Rebecca Daddow from Nurture Development. This was a very informative and challenging presentation that gave us all a lot to think about.
The second presentation was from Alastair Cameron from the Scottish Churches Housing Action. This part looked closely at a proposal for some joint working on a project based in Edinburgh.
Lunch was provided by Matt Fountain from the Freedom bakery. We cannot state with enough adjectives just how good this was. A special mention must go to the haggis rolls – a ball of haggis inside a bread roll. I want another as I type this…
The afternoon session was our usual breakout sessions. We were joined by many other supporters and agencies and we took two big tables and used them for a free ranging conversation on the asset based approach and how to address Hopelessness and Homelessness. The sessions are too short to cover everything but each participant went away with something different in their mind that came from the shared experiences…